I have trouble with this every year. Someone asks me if I have any New Years Resolutions, and I always come up blank. What is a resolution? Why would I want one? Is there any reason, really, for me to come up with something that I’m going to try to do, and probably fail?
Dictonary.com says a Resolution is this:
“a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.”
After sitting and thinking about it for a little while, I realized why I don’t ever have a New Years Resolution. It’s because I try to change the things I don’t like about myself ALL THE TIME. I am a constant work-in-progress, and I am well aware of my shortcomings. I am always working on the things that I want to better about myself. I don’t just try one time a year.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been trying to be less bossy. Yes, Bossy. In middle school, we called it Leadership, but really, I just like telling other people what to do and how to do it. I TRY to bite my tongue all the time, because it gets me in trouble. Read: It pisses other people off. Here’s the thing… I just think my way would be better. Never the less, I keep working towards keeping my mouth shut, letting others do things their own way, and reducing my bossiness to the smallest amount possible. I’ll leave it up to Brock to tell you all how I’m doing. I’m working on it.
I have been working very hard for the last year or so to improve my posture. There is nothing worse, for me, than when I’m walking through the mall and I catch a glimpse of myself in a storefront window. “Is that really how I stand? Do I look that slouchy?” When I see someone else with posture like mine, I think they have poor self esteem, and that they should stand up straighter. So I remind myself a hundred times a day to stand straight, and put my shoulders back. I work on it while I’m driving, and when I’m working. I’ve seen a big improvement, even though I’m not quite where I want to be yet. I’ve even conscripted Brock to tell me to “Straighten Up” when he sees me looking particularly slouched. It has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be – I figured a week or two of good posture would set things in stone. What I’ve figured out, instead, is that 26 some odd years of bad posture have made my body very difficult to change, and I’m just now to the point where slouching feels UNCOMFORTABLE to me, but standing straight doesn’t feel natural yet. I push through it, I persevere. I want to stand tall and look proud. I’m working on it.
My house is, more often than not, a bit of a disaster. I didn’t grow up in an eternally clean house, but I hate it when things get so untidy. I’ve been trying to improve my habits, like picking up dishes when they’re done, and not leaving things laying around on the floor. One thing I’m wildly guilty of is leaving my clothes wherever I take them off – and it’s a different place every time. This drives Brock NUTS. I’ve got the laundry baskets labeled and arranged, and I TRY to take my clothes off and put them directly in the baskets. It doesn’t help that I don’t really do laundry often enough, but hey. I’m working on it.
A few other things: I try not to give Brock a hard time about things he didn’t do the way I wanted them. I try not to get upset at the dog all of the time. I try to keep in touch with all of my friends, and not make them be the ones to have to get in touch with me. I try to call my mom once a week, and talk to my brothers at least once a month. I try to be the best person I can possibly be. I’m working on it!
Some of the highlights of 2009:
I had a baby in February.
I started a new job in May, at the end of my maternity leave.
We bought a new, baby friendly car.
My parents came to visit!
I cut my hair off.
It really hasn’t been that eventful of a year, and yet in 2009 my life changed forever. This is a year I will never forget.
