I didn’t fall asleep until well after 2 am last night.

 

Good grief.  I got less sleep last night than I have in weeks!  I tell ya, I love my sleep.  I’ve had a nap every single day for at least the past three weeks.  I get home from work, crash into bed (or even on the couch) and sleep away an hour or two.  Really ruins the crap out of my evening, but I can’t keep my eyelids open.

 

There is a good chance that I just had too much on my mind.  Yesterday was a very intense day.  I don’t know if I would have handled the “MFR” (multifetal reduction) differently if I didn’t know that I was also pregnant.  I’ve found myself questioning things like that a lot.  How would I handle this if I weren’t pregnant?

 

I dunno.  Who knows. 

 

 

So… baby gender.  Do ya do it?

 

I have always told everyone that I don’t want to know the gender of the baby.  I think it would be an amazing surprise, and how much fun.  I also KNOW that if I so much as glance at the ultrasound screen while they are scanning my baby, there is no doubt that I will be able to tell.  I partially chose the idea of not finding out the gender as a reason to dissuade myself from doing ‘self scans’ throughout my pregnancy – Not that I believe that it is harmful to the baby, or that think that I really shouldn’t.  More, it’s that I want Brock to be a part of all of the amazing things that happen in the next 8 months, and scanning myself without him there leaves him pretty far out of the picture.

Then I started going online and looking at ideas for baby rooms, clothes, strollers, etc.  I know, I know, it’s early!  But really, all I found was that I don’t want to decorate my baby room in neutral colors.  I didn’t find any themes or sets that I really liked.  It was when I got on that line of reasoning that I realized… if I don’t get to ‘watch’ the ultrasound, I’m really missing out on the most amazing part!  Watching my baby inside of me be a baby!!  That is the most incredible thing I get to share with parents, the part they always seem to enjoy the most.  It’s not the cute pictures that they take home, or finding out what the sex of the baby is… it is seeing that baby inside, seeing it move, wave, turn, kick, stretch… I would miss out on all of that.

 

I don’t know if I’m willing to give that up.  Gender… Yes/No?