Do you ever feel like you ruin everything?  Like things go well for you, and then you just frack it all up? 

I feel like this all the time.  What is it about me?  Why can’t I keep my mouth shut?  Why can’t I just not care?  Am I wrong for feeling hurt or upset… or do I be true to how I feel?  Be honest, and own my own feelings? 

Only I can truly know how I feel about something.  Only I can feel the power in my emotions, and how hurt I can hurt.  How painful something can honestly be. 

Is it wrong for me to just put something away and behave as though I don’t care about it just because I absolutely can’t stand it when he’s mad at me? 

I hate myself for doing that.